Blk 1- Laila's commentary (Ndume the gorilla)

An extract from Laila’s commentary (Ndume)

(a) Comment on the style and language of the passage.


Mrs Saunders’ comments:
For every line reference , Laila talks about the importance of words, phrases or parts of a sentence ( ie what they mean/how they emphasize the writer’s experience of the gorillas). In other words, every sentence in her answer explains the effect of language in the passage. To do this, Laila uses expressions like 'accentuates', 'paints an image of ...', 'stresses that..', shows that...'

Read the extract of Laila's commentary carefully. The effect (importance) of language is in italics.


Lines 12-13 basically just describe the mood as the writer faces Ndume , “He sat, and I lay” emphasizes the closeness of them and how much they can fit together. The phrase “deep green tangle of luxuriant vegetation” draws a vivid image in the readers’ mind.
Lines 13-14 also accentuates how much the writer and Ndume understand each other that they “shifted our eyes frequently”. There is a silent moment there where they just observing the surrounding and feel the peaceful atmosphere between them.
In line 14 the word “glittered” paints an image of shining, a beautiful shining on the leaves by the rain and this can make the readers to feel the atmosphere. In lines 15 and 16 the short sentence stresses how the surrounding has changed by the changing of Ndume’s mood, “holding his chin in the palm of his hand”. He seemed to be in a “contemplative mood.”
In lines 16-17 the writer is adopting the rule and tries not to break it as it may arouse gorilla’s anger.
In line 18-19, “he moved toward me, smiling vaguely and shifting his gaze in a we;;-bred manner”; this stresses that Ndume is now gaining the trust for the writer and t hat he likes the man but still acting politely with his guest.
In line 20 the writer is describing Ndume’s appearance and she compares Ndume’s muscles to the size of melons. This enables the readers to imagine how Ndume looks like.
The dashes in line 21 shows that the writer is trying to tell the readers of hat she thinks of the “silver hair”.