Blk 1 AND Block 5: June Hols Homework

Paper 2, Section A: Narrative/Descriptive/Imaginative Writing

Choose ONE question. Your essay must be between 600-900 words.

1. Write 2 contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each), one which describes a particular place at the end of a war or natural disaster and one which describes the way it looks after being rebuilt. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in mood and atmosphere. (Nov 2007)

2. Write 2 contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each) describing a sunrise and a sunset over the same place on the same day. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in mood and atmosphere. (June 2007)

3. Write 2 contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each) describing the same character when he/she is young and then old. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in the character’s appearance and outlook on life. (June 2006)

4. Write 2 contrasting descriptive pieces (between 300-450 words each) about 2 different times of the day and their effect on a particular place. In describing each time you should create clear contrasts in mood and atmosphere. (2004)


Please type your assignment if possible (using double spacing)
Deadline: Monday 30 June 2008

Blk 1: Model student assignments : DIRECTED WRITING - Based on extract from “The Road to Wigan Pier”

Assignment Question
Basing your answer closely on the style and language of the extract from “The Road to Wigan Pier’ write part of an account expressing your strong dislike of a place, person or thing. (120-150 words)

You may use as many of the following features as possible:
1. The second person pronoun
2. Comparison
3. Diction: superlatives, negative suffix (-less), strong adjectives
4. Irony
5. Parenthesis to share a thought informally with your reader
6. Sentence without a finite verb, only participles (lines 43-48) to highlight the strong presence of an unattractive thing.


Suriati Anak Anyut
An army of trucks, assembling a huge, gloomy building - a hotel to be. Similar to an army of ants building its nest. Except that this construction of a building is far more horrid than that of the timid ants’ nest.
If you pass the construction site, you will realize air is not the only thing that fills your lungs…but also dust. Dust from the loading and unloading of graves of gravel. The dryness of the atmosphere itself even has the potential to suffocate everyone. Grey piles of tiles. Grey pails of paint. Grey masses of timber wood. Grey sacks of harsh cement. They reflect how solid the product will soon be. And oh, the noise! It’s as if the sound of machine guns is being shot right through your eardrums! (Not to mention the killing potential is the same!). (140 words) [Grade: C+]

Tutor's Comments:

Suriati has done a good job of applying all the features of style.
• Note the opening sentence has no finite verb, just the present participle ‘assembling’.
• Suriati has used comparison not once but twice. Can you spot the second one?
• The repetition of ‘grey’ in four short non-sentences and the alliterative "grey piles...grey pails" are very effective in reinforcing the dull and lifeless character of the building to be. They also convey the quiet disgust of the speaker as she surveys her immediate environment.
• Note the use of ‘even’ to stress the harmful effect of the dusty atmosphere.
• ‘And oh, the noise!’ is an acceptable adaption of that single short sentence in the original extract since she is not referring to smell.

• Note the use of parenthesis.

Diction: Strong adjectives - horrid, harsh; strong verbs - suffocate, shot right through

Now see how far each of the following answers below has used the 6 features of style in the list. Note also the strengths and individual style (the particular way the writer expresses his/her point of view) that make each work unique.


Amirul Hamizan
Antarctica, I would have to say, is the worst place you can ever live in. The place itself is an icy deathtrap; there is no way you can escape, you just have to learn to survive in the cold and tormenting environment. I imagine there are no animals or any living things except for the strange fishes under the ice and some polar bears ready to put you in their menu. All around, white icy flakes and sometimes stones of ice falling from the sky and the floor, so slippery and evil, waiting for someone to slip on it. It is as if Antarctica itself is an evil, cruel and cold serial killer just waiting for the right moment. No one but a bunch of crazy researchers would dare to live in its suicidal conditions. Well, simply put, you would agree with me when I say Antarctica is a much colder version of hell itself. (155 words) [Grade: B]


Jessica Tieng
Personally, I strongly despise judgmental people who see nothing wrong with themselves, yet see everything wrong with everyone else.
These judgmental, prejudiced and biased individuals make false assumptions and far-reaching pronouncements based on limited information. These brainless people decree what is right and wrong.
So basically if you look out for your own negative traits, you are less likely to sit in judgment over your fellow human beings, which will be all the better for you and them.

Yet judgmental people are far less worse than hypocrites who always seem to preach a certain belief or way of life but in fact they do hold these same virtues themselves

Just remember what William Shakespeare said, " Forbear to grudge, for we are sinners and all." (126 words) [Grade: B]


Haswan Hj Maidin
Our school canteen seems to be the dirtiest place in PTEB. The floor is decorated with sweet wrappers, tin cans, plastic containers and left-over food which apparently dominate the whole area so that you have to watch your feet! This litter (which can be seen almost anytime of the day) is so appalling that you could easily lose your appetite. But this is nothing compared to the horrid atmosphere of the toilets, from the distasteful smell to the dreadful sight of the unflushed toilets. The cubicles give a sinister feeling: a door with a broken lock, the dysfunctional toilet flush, the lifeless piece of pipe. Even the lights seem to be dim and scary as the hum of the toilet fan dominates the room. (124 words) (Grade: C+)


Here are 2 written pieces that are not based too closely on 6 listed features of language in the extract from ‘The Road to Wigan Pier’ but are nevertheless very effective in expressing disgust . Muizzah’s account is highly descriptive and vivid with an ironic observation in the closing sentence. Hamada does not adopt the cold and detached ironic tone found in the original passage. Instead she is amused at and affectionate towards her object of disgust, therefore the irony in her writing has a warm humorous quality.


Muizzah binti Kamal
As I entered the indoor fish market, the inevitable smell of fish predictably captivated my senses, and I cringed visibly. The air was thick with the nostalgic, salty scent of the seaside and the horribly offensive odor of dead fish. Walking along the stalls, I felt the growing dampness on my jeans. My gaze lingered on the mini drains which rivaled the large ones in the slums in lack of attention to hygiene. The drain was almost overflowing with substances which were unrecognizable since they did not show any signs of movement. The remnants of crabs and fish were mingling beautifully with the highly viscous, ash-coloured filth. The idea of running for the exit and abandoning Mother in her quest for a salmon was greatly tempting. The most disturbing thing was that the stall-keepers seemed oblivious to these facts.
(141 words) [Grade: B]


Hamadatun Najwa bt Yusuf Wahbi
After one year, I discover that my charming boyfriend has some amazingly disgusting habits. However, I still do love the guy despite my interesting encounter with him last week. Not even my guy friends show me their bad habits, and I've known them for a longer period. You would not imagine how revolting my lunch was that day. A strand of lamb meat stuck in between the teeth (I had already warned him that we were bound to get some meat stuck if we ordered lamb chop) in a mouth widely open with fingers meddling inside it struggling to remove the irritating piece of food remains. His face expressed the great strength he was using to take it out and showed much satisfaction after his successful attempt. What's worse came right after that. He took a glance at the pathetic strand, stayed motionless for two seconds before shrugging his shoulders, and then popped it right back into his mouth! It was absolutely appalling! (163 words) [Grade: B]

Block 5: Essay Homework

Following the same process we have carried out over the last few lessons, write a discursive essay on the topic "Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones". This means mobile phones in general, not just in school.
Things to remember:

• Taking several lines of argument both for and against
• Expanding and developing the lines of argument
• Presenting lines of argument in an ordered fashion
• Giving evidence to support the lines of argument
• Linking coherently each line of argument

1.Remember to keep the balance between the two sides of the argument, positive and negative, maybe three different points on each side.
2. Express each of these in a topic sentence.
3. Put them in a reasonable order.
4. Expand on each one.
5. Link them together, both within and between paragraphs, with various linking words either to add another point (Furthermore, moreover, also) or to contrast a previous point (However, in contrast etc)
6. Insert an introduction, saying what you are going to be talking about, then a conclusion which is a summary of what you have said, followed by a personal viewpoint. Basically "Say what you're going to say, then say it, then say what you said!"

As a rough guideline, you should write about 600 words, with 10% intro (approx 60 words), 80% main body (approx 480-500 words i.e. about 80 words per line of argument) 10% conclusion (another 60 words).