Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A Glossary for Text Analysis

OVERVIEW


Genre Fact: brochure, speech, dialogue, biography, magazine etc Fiction: novel, mystery, science fiction, gothic etc

Purpose Express as a verb: To entertain, to arouse sympathy, to sell something, to amuse, to criticize etc

Tone (Mood) Express as an adjective: persuasive, critical, laudatory, humorous, informative etc . Does it change or develop throughout the text? Do relationships between people change throughout the text?

Audience Is it for a general or specific readership? If specific, who will read it?


STRUCTURE

Vocab.(Diction) Shows tone. Positive/Negative/Neutral. (In)formal? Contrast in the vocab, between and within paragraphs? Specialized?

Punctuation Use of (semi-)colons, commas, brackets, quotation marks etc. What is the effect?

Grammar Length of paragraphs and sentences. Tense? 1st/2nd/3rd Person? Parts of speech (nouns, verbs etc), Direct Speech?


FIGURES OF SPEECH

Simile X is like Y or X is as ____ as Y. "My love is like a rose which blooms in Spring”

Metaphor X is Y. “My love is a rose which blooms in Spring”

Personification Giving human characteristics to non-human things. “The old car wheezed as it fought its way up the hill”

Rhetorical Question Asking a question to make a point, not requiring an answer. “Why do I have to do everything round here?”

Onomatopoeia Sounds like a sound. Bang, crash, crackle, pop, splash, whizz.

Alliteration Repetition of initial consonant sounds, usually harsh ones. “Big, brown bear” “A piece of paper”.

Assonance Repetition of vowel sounds within words, “a ship in distress”, usually in poetry rather than prose.

Contrast Two opposite ideas placed in juxtaposition, “’It was the best of times, It was the worst of times”

Oxymoron A seeming contradiction. “Artificial grass, fighting for peace, a quiet scream”

Hyperbole Exaggeration: “I’ve told you a thousand times, stop exaggerating!”

Repetition “Physics homework, English homework, Geography homework, will it never end?”

Pun A word with a “double meaning” used for humorous effect. “A backward poet writes inverse”

Euphemism Language used to avoid offence. “I’m going to the little girl’s room to powder my nose”. “His father passed away.”

Irony Saying the opposite of what you mean. “No, I’m not upset you are dumping me!” she sniffed.

Idiom Device whereby the words used do not contain their literal meaning. “The cat got your tongue!” (You can’t speak)

Connotation Suggestion evoked by word or phrase e.g. bachelor (cool guy about town) spinster (old woman left on the shelf)

Imagery Pictures created in readers’ minds, using comparisons (simile, metaphor)

Juxtaposition Placing things next to each other to show a relationship.

Prose Continuous writing which is not verse or dialogue.

Parallelism. A balance of two or more similar words or phrases. Giving two or more parts of the sentences a similar form so as to give the whole a definite pattern.

Antimetabole. Repetition of a phrase in reverse, used often in a speech to make a phrase more memorable. "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." "This is not the beginning of the end, but perhaps the end of the beginning" "If you fail to prepare, then prepare to fail."

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Blk 1 The Conversion by Sharifah Liyana...

Sharifah Liyana Nadzira Binti Malai Haji Hashim
Tutor Group B6

‘The Conversion’

I am 17 now, it has been 12 years since my father left my mother. I am the second daughter and am known to be much like my mother. I have her looks, her character and needless to say her talent in cooking - I’m Mommy’s girl.
This incident started on a normal day when I was only 5 years old and my older sister was 7 years old. All of us, Daddy, my sister, and I were getting ready for the day’s events, school, work - Mommy was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Then, we all sat at the dining table waiting for breakfast to be served. My mother came out from the kitchen holding her tummy and carrying her pan in her other hand - she was 8 months pregnant. Then we had our family breakfast. Everything was normal, everything seemed fine. I gave my Mommy a kiss on the cheek and we all left the house.

My father dropped us at school. School was the same as it usually was. I had play time, I had recess and I was happy in school as I always was. After recess, I came back into my classroom and was ready to learn addition and subtraction. I was so excited that everyday whenever I got home, I would tell my Mommy and Daddy what I had learnt that day. At that time I didn’t know my mother was in the office asking for my sister and me to be pulled out of class. I would definitely learn subtraction later.

A lady then came into my class and told me that my mother was waiting for me in the office. I packed up my crayons and my papers and left class with the lady. All the way to the office she was talking to me, but I wasn’t even listening - all I could think about were the different reasons why I was going home early.
I saw my mother and my sister at the office and I ran to my Mommy and hugged her leg. I couldn’t believe I was ever that small. I was ever that innocent that I didn’t even know something was going to happen to me that could happen to anyone. My sister and I both reached up to hold our Mommy’s hand, we walked to the taxi waiting outside the office and the driver brought us home. In the car, I asked my Mommy why we were going home early and she only said that I was too young to know.

We arrived home and my mother told us to go straight upstairs. My sister left the room door open, we heard screaming and arguing. Both of us didn’t know what was happening. More screaming, more arguing, more confusion. Then BANG! My mother came to the room and shut the door close. She told us that we were going to leave the house, my Mommy and Daddy were getting a divorce. Subtraction…

From then on, life was a blurry dream of endless custody and court battles, visitations, confusion and hatred. I used to believe that we were the happiest family - we would go on family vacations together, there were endless family times at the beach and we had fun in all the things we did. Eventually all happiness ended in one day. After the final custody was fought, I ended up with my mother and my older sister ended up with my father- I guess it was because I was known as Mommy’s girl and was closer to her than to my Daddy. I couldn’t believe I was going to be separated not only with my Daddy but with my sister - Who’s going to play Barbie dolls with me? What if the baby happens to be a boy? So many things happened, so many stories to tell, I could go on forever. But I won’t!

I went through so many hard times. The whole ordeal pushed me to grow up fast. I didn’t realize that until later on in life. After the divorce, we had to stay at my Mommy’s friend’s house. Mommy eventually gave birth a few weeks after the divorce. At the hospital, my Mommy’s best friend took care of her - not that I knew how. I recall not seeing my Daddy or my sister at the hospital when I was outside the theatre; I heard my Mommy screaming in pain and I was scared anything would happen to her - I didn’t want to lose the only person I’d got.
Another sister was born, I wasn’t sure whether it was good news for me. It was not that I wasn’t happy to have another sister. But wasn’t it going to give my Mommy more burdens since my Daddy didn’t even send us money and my mother had to loan some from her friends and start paying them when she got a job? Nevertheless, until today we have lived well without receiving any maintenance from my Daddy.

My sister was moved out from school and I have never heard from her ever since. I was rebellious. I didn’t believe in ‘happy family’ anymore. Whenever my friends talk about their happy times with their family, I would just ignore them and tell them that all the happiness that families enjoy can suddenly vanish in one day.

(Grade B 74%)

Blk 1 Writing a drama script or script for radio

How to write a dialogue
http://www.carolgreene.com/education/vent/dialogue.html

How to write a Radio play
http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/arts/features/howtowrite/radio.shtml

(Homepage BBC ) How to Write…: (browse only) http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/arts/features/howtowrite/index.shtml

Writing a Soap opera story : http://www.ehow.com/how_2067605_write-soap-opera-story.html

Writing romantic dialogue : http://www.writing-world.com/romance/dialogue.shtml

Writing World Com: http://www.writing-world.com/ (browse only)


Past Examination questions on DRAMA SCRIPT or SCRIPT for RADIO

1. Using interior monologues (between 300– 450 words each), write a script for radio called‘The Two Faces’. In the script you should write contrasting sections which reveal different sides of the same personality. (Nov 2006)


2. Write a complete drama script called ‘You Never Can Tell’. In writing the piece you should explore the ways in which a character is deceived by appearances or events. (Nov 2005)


3. Write a piece of prose or drama script called ‘Memories’ for radio. The piece should make use of a narrator (and other characters if desired) and use brief flashbacks to show how certan events have shaoed the present. (PTE Mock exam 2008)

4. Write a script for a radio programme which deals with disease. (PTE Mock exam 2006)


EXAMPLES OF SCRIPTS

1. Play Synopses: BRIEF SKETCHES http://web.ukonline.co.uk/pdwilson/Synopses.htm

Independence Day (mini-drama; 2m, 1f; 10 min)
A teenage son is at the stage of leaving home, but his parents too find advantages in independence.

Perils of Travel (conversation piece; 2f; 10 min)
Two young professional women, awaiting a flight to a meeting, discuss a missing passenger, security issues, and why not to travel in a business suit.

Crash (mini-drama; 2f; 8 min)
A teenage girl, who may or may not be dreaming, is visited by a friend who may or may not have stolen the first's boy-friend, and has been involved in a horrendous road accident.

Inn Memory (mini-drama; 2f; 8 min)
Why is the visitor alarmed by a completely peaceful rural scene?

2. Horton’s one-act plays : http://www.stagepage.info/oneactplayscripts/_oneact.html

3. Horton’s monologues: http://www.stagepage.info/monologs/_monologs.html

4. One-two minute monologues: http://www.stagepage.info/mouthoffs/oneminutemonologues.html

5. Other Fiction http://web.ukonline.co.uk/pdwilson/Otherfict.htm

6. Science Fiction scripts: http://scifiscripts.com/index.html

7. Drama magazine for young people: http://www.playsmag.com
Boxes: http://www.playsmag.com/html/Category/JuniorSeniorHigh/200110_13.html
One-time football hero returns home to confront tense family relationship. . .by Joanna L. Evans



Friday, August 15, 2008

Blk 1 AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Autobiography (overview): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autobiography


About some well known autobiographies:
Roald Dahl : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_(book)

Jacques Casanova: So famous a womanizer was he that his name remains synonymous with the art of seduction and he is sometimes called "the world's greatest lover".
About Jacques Casanova: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giacomo_Casanova

Casanova’s bautobiography “History of my Life”http://romance-books.classic-

Maya Angelou: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Know_Why_the_Caged_Bird_Sings

Malcolm X : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Autobiography_of_Malcolm_X

Jane Pitman : http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Autobiography+of+Jane+Pitman

Friday, August 8, 2008

Blk 1 Literary Elements


Literay Elements

Character

Character can be revealed through the character's actions, speech, and appearance. It also can be revealed by the comments of other characters and of the author.
Certain types of characters appear in many stories. Describe the following types if they appear in your book:
● The protagonist is the central character (person, animal, or personified object) in the plot's
conflict.
● The antagonist is the force in conflict with the protagonist. It may be society, nature, or fate, as well as another person. It can also be the protagonist's own self, if he or she has an internal
conflict.
● A character foil is a character whose traits are in direct contrast to those of the principal
character. The foil therefore highlights the traits of the protagonist. The foil is usually a minor character, although if there are two protagonists, they may be foils of each other.
● A stereotype is a character who possesses expected traits of a group rather than being an individual. Using stereotypes is usually considered an indication of poor quality, especially in cases such as members of minority groups, people with disabilities, or women. However, stereotypes can be useful in furthering the story quickly and are acceptable in minor roles if they
do not provide hurtful portraits of the groups in question.

Character development is showing the multitude of traits and behaviors that give the literary character the complexity of a human being. The amount of character development affects the quality of the story:
·
A flat character is not fully developed; we know only one side of the character.
·A round character is fully-developed, with many traits--bad and good--shown in the story. We feel that we know the character so well that he or she has become a real person.

A static character is one who does not experience a basic character change during the course of the story.

A dynamic character is one who experiences a basic change in character through the events of the story. This change is internal and may be sudden, but the events of the plot should make it seem inevitable.

· There is also a continuum of character change in a story, with very static characters at one end, and very dynamic ones at the other. Every character lies somewhere on this continuum. Dynamism in the protagonist is usually considered an indication of quality, but many characters, especially in stories for younger children, have only the mild amount of change which can be expected from growing and maturing from day to day.

· A character may thus be round and dynamic, round and static, or flat and static. A flat character cannot usually be dynamic, because you do not know enough about the flat character to notice a change. If a character seems flat and yet seems to change, it is usually because the characterization is not well written.


Plot
Plot is the sequence of events which involves the characters in conflict.
The sequence of events is called the narrative order:
· The most common type of narrative order in children's books is chronological. In this case, the events are told in the order they happen.
· A flashback occurs when the author narrates an event that took place before the current time of the story. Flashbacks are uncommon in children's literature because the passage of time is difficult for children to understand. The opposite effect, a flash forward, is even rarer.

· A time lapse occurs when the story skips a period of time that seems unusual compared to the rest of the plot. There is no standard amount of time that might constitute a time lapse; it depends upon the reader's sense that a longer than usual period of time has passed since the previous episode.

Conflict is the struggle between the protagonist and an opposing force. There are several types of conflict:

Internal conflict, or person-against-self, occurs when the protagonist struggles within himself or herself. The protagonist is pulled by two courses of action or by differing emotions. This is often considered a characteristic of fine literature because it frequently leads to a dynamic change in the protagonist.

Interpersonal conflict, or person-against-person, pits the protagonist against someone else.

Conflict of person-against-society happens when the protagonist is in conflict with the values of his or her society. This is a difficult concept for small children to grasp.

Conflict of person-against-nature takes place when the protagonists is threatened by an element of nature.

·Conflict of person-against-fate occurs when the protagonist must contend against a fact or life or death over which people have little control, such as death or disability. Some literary critics, however, see this conflict as a type of person-against-nature.

· Several types of conflict may be present in any one story.
· Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish between two types of conflict. If a teenager is arrested by a policeman for breaking a law, the conflict is probably person-against-society. If, however, a personal animosity develops between the two, so that the boy taunts the policeman and the policeman harasses the boy because they dislike each other, the conflict becomes person-against­person. Likewise, if a character is attacked by a strange dog, the conflict is person-against-nature. But if the dog knows and dislikes the character, it could be considered person-against-person. If the protagonist is diagnosed with a fatal disease, he or she has a conflict with fate or nature, but also probably has an internal conflict in learning to accept his or her fate.

Most plots have certain common elements:
· A story commonly begins with exposition, an explanation of the situation and the condition of the characters. In children's books, the exposition is usually woven into the action.
· A plot usually begins with a problem which the protagonist must meet or solve. During the story, tension is built through a series of complications, incidents which either help or hinder the protagonist in finding a solution. This is the rising action.
· The climax is the peak or turning point of the action; at this point we know the outcome.
· The denouement or falling action is the part after the climax. It gives any necessary explanation and ends with resolution, the sense of at the end of the story that it is complete.

The ending of the story may be either open or closed:
o In a closed ending, the most usual one in children's books, readers feel that they know what will happen. The various parts of the plot are tied together satisfactorily, and the reader feels a sense of completion.

o In an open ending, readers must draw their own conclusions; they do not know what will happen.

o A cliffhanger is an abrupt ending at an exciting and often dangerous time in the plot. Its purpose is to keep the reader reading. It is usually found at the end of a chapter, but occasionally a book will end this way. (Not all open endings are suspenseful enough to be called cliffhangers.) Recently, books in some science fiction and fantasy series have ended in cliffhangers, which encourages the reading of the other books in the series.

Other elements which may be found in plots include:
· Suspense is a state of tension, a sense of uncertainty, an emotional pull which keeps the reader reading. All plots need some suspense to sustain interest.
· Foreshadowing is the planting of hints about what will happen later in the story. It prepares children for the outcome and reassures them when the suspense is very high. Good foreshadowing is subtle and often contributes to high quality in a story.
· Coincidence, the concurrence of events which happen by chance, is a fact in real life. However, real life is not a plot that moves from problem to climax to resolution. In fiction, coincidence seems contrived; it weakens the plot.
Coincidence in a plot is acceptable if it is carefully but subtly foreshadowed.

· Inevitability is the sense that the outcome is necessary and inescapable. It had to happen, given these characters and this situation; it is not contrived. It is a sign of high quality in writing.

· Sensationalism is unrelieved suspense; it often includes violence and may produce fear in the reader. Readers often like it, as the popularity of horror books and films attest, but it is usually considered a sign of poor quality. Even the Disney Studio, known for wholesome entertainment, is guilty of sensationalism. Sixty years ago, many children were frightened by the witch in Snow White. More recently The Lion King was criticized for excessive violence. In films, suspense is often heightened by cutting quickly between scenes and by the adroit use of background music to create a mood.

· Sentimentality is the opposite of sensationalism; it is the overuse of sentiment (a natural concern
for another person) that produces a tear-jerker. It is dwelling too much on the "cute" and the "precious." Like sensationalism, it is a sign of poor quality but is often popular. Movies such as Love Story and Terms of Endearment are examples of sentimentality. Many popular children's books are overly sentimental. Black Beauty, The Velveteen Rabbit, The Giving Tree, I'll Love You Forever, and the works of Joan Walsh Anglund have all been criticized for this.


Setting
Setting includes the place and the time period in which the story takes place.
Setting may or may not have an important influence on the story:
● An integral setting is essential to the plot; it influences action, character or theme.
● A backdrop setting is relatively unimportant to the plot; it is like the featureless curtain or flat painted scenery of a theater.
● Readers may interpret the importance of the setting differently; one may say that the setting is integral because the story must happen in a big city; another may say the same thing is backdrop because it may happen in any big city. (The former statement is probably more accurate, but either is acceptable if the meaning is clear.)
Setting can clarify conflict, illuminate character, affect the mood, and act as a symbol. The setting itself can be an antagonist in a person-against-nature conflict.

Theme
Theme is the underlying meaning of the story, a universal truth, a significant statement the story is making about society, human nature, or the human condition.
Although themes can convey important messages, they should never be overtly didactic. Didacticism is preaching and teaching so explicitly that children lose pleasure in the story and reject its message.

Types of themes:
An explicit theme is one that is stated openly in the book. It is stated in universal terms in the
book itself.
· An implicit theme is one which is not directly stated, but which the reader can infer. Many times, readers will not notice that an explicit theme is directly stated, but they can often infer the theme anyway.
Themes must be clearly stated; one word is not usually enough. To say that a book's theme is "friendship" is not clear. It may mean, "Friends are a person's most valuable possession." It may also mean, "Friends can never be trusted if their own interests are opposed to yours."

An understanding of theme is dependent upon one's previous experience of life and literature. At the same time, theme in literature can enlarge one's understanding of life.
Not every good book has a significant theme; some books' value lies in the pleasure they give, rather than the message they bring. Books of humor, for instance, may or may not have a significant theme.

Style
Style is the language used in a book, the way the words are put together to create the story.
· Most children's books use standard written style. This style sounds natural, but when carefully analyzed, it is clear that it is more formal than most speech. Sentences are complete; expressions like "um," "you know," and "like--," are avoided; contractions are used less often than in ordinary speech. Lots of conversation may included, but the style as a whole does not sound like speech.
· In conversational style, the language is more informal, it sounds more like the way people really talk. The narration as well as the character's speeches sounds conversational.
· Dialect is easiest for children to read if word order or a few unusual words and expressions are used to suggest a difference from normal speech. Other languages may be suggested in the same way through speech patterns and foreign words. Foreign and unusual words should be explained naturally in context. .
· An ornate or unusual style is sometimes used, especially in some high fantasy and historical fiction. Older editions of traditional literature and older poetry may also have such styles.

Writers use many devices of style to make stories interesting.
· Imagery is the most frequently used device. It is an appeal to any of the senses--taste, touch, sight, sound, and smell. It paints pictures in our mind.
· Figurative language uses words in a nonliteral way, giving them a meaning beyond their ordinary one.
o Personification gives human traits to animals, nonhuman beings, or inanimate objects: "The trees bowed before the wind."
o A simile compares two different things, using the words "as," "like," or "than": "The
snowbank looked like a huge pile of marshmallow syrup."
o A metaphor is an implied comparison stating the resemblance between two things: "Her presence was a ray of light in a dark world."

· Devices of sound can increase pleasure and clarity. Books which use many such devices should be read aloud. Poetry is particularly rich in such devices.
o Onomatopoeia is the use of words that sound like their meaning: a skirt "swishes," a bat "cracks," a hasty eater "gulps" his food.
o Alliteration is repetition of initial consonants: "the soft surge of the sea."
o Consonance is repetition of consonants sounds anywhere in the words: "The sight of the apple and maple trees pleased the people."
o Rhyme is the repetition of a stressed sound, usually the final syllable: "His aim was to blame the dame."
o Assonance is repetition of vowel sounds in a phrase: The owl swept out of the woods and circled the house."
o Rhythm is the recurring flow of strong and weak beats in a phrase: "Chicka, chicka, boom, boom! Will there be enough room?" Meter is the regular rhythmic pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables found in a line of poetry. The less regular rhythm sometimes found in prose is often called cadence.
· Puns and other plays on words add interest and humor: "By the time the milking was finished, the new farmhand was thoroughly cowed." Puns are said to be "the lowest form of wit," but people usually enjoy them even as they groan.
· Hyperbole is exaggeration: "He was frightened out of his wits." Understatement is the opposite: "He was upset when he learned he had AIDS."
· Allusion is an indirect reference to something outside the current literary work: "He was a veritable Hercules." The reference may be to something in literature, history, modern culture, or another area. Allusion is often difficult for children to recognize because they lack the necessary background knowledge.


· A symbol is something--a person, object, situation, or action--which operates on two levels, the literal and the symbolic. For instance, an engagement ring is a real object, but it is also stands for the abiding love of the engaged couple. Symbols add depth and meaning to a story. Symbols may be universal (as the engagement ring) or specific to a particular story.

Qualities which should be avoided in style include triteness (dull, stale, overused expressions), condescension (talking down to children, making them feel unintelligent or immature), didacticism, sensationalism, and sentimentality.

Point of View
Point of view depends upon who the narrator is and how much he or she knows.

Point of view may be:
· First person - uses "I" - A character is telling the story.
· Second person - uses "you" - The author speaks directly to the reader. Second person is seldom used; it is found most often in nonfiction today.
· Third person - uses "he," "she," or "it" - The author is telling about the characters. There are three third person points of view:
o Limited omniscient - We are told the thoughts and feelings of only one character (sometimes, but very seldom, of two or three characters).
o Omniscient - We are told everything about the story, including the thoughts and feelings of all the characters, and even information in the author's mind which no character knows.
.
Tone
Tone is the author's attitude toward what he or she writes, but it may be easier to understand if you think of it as the attitude that you (the reader) get from the author's words. It is the hardest literary element to discuss; often we can recognize it but not put it into words. The easiest tone to recognize is humor. In describing tone, use adjectives: humorous, mysterious, creepy, straight-forward, matter-of-fact, exciting, boring, etc.

Blk 1 SREDNI VASHTAR

Sredni Vashtar by SAKI (Hector Munro) (adapted)

SYNOPSIS
Sredni Vashtar is a short story written by Saki (Hector Hugh Munro) between 1900 and 1914 and initially published in his book Beasts and Super-Beasts. It has been adapted into a short film and a TV drama.
The story concerns a 10-year-old boy called Conradin, who lives with his strict cousin and
guardian, Mrs. De Ropp. Conradin rebels against her and invents a new religion for himself, which centres around idolising a polecat-ferret he calls Sredni Vashtar; a vengeful, merciless god. Conradin keeps the polecat hidden in a cage in the garden shed, and worships the idol in secret. The story comes to a climax when his cousin sets out to discover his god.

In Hindi, Sherni means Tigress. Vastar is a region of India with hills and forests. Sherni Vastar in Hindi means The Tigress of Vastar region. Saki had strong connections with India.

**************


Conradin was ten years old, and the doctor had pronounced his opinion that the boy would not live another five years. The doctor counted for little[1], but his opinion was endorsed[2] by Mrs. De Ropp, who counted for nearly everything. Mrs. De Ropp was Conradin's cousin and guardian, and in his eyes she represented those three-fifths of the world that are necessary and disagreeable and real; the other two-fifths, were summed up in himself and his imagination. One of these days Conradin supposed he would succumb to the pressure of necessary things---such as illnesses and restrictions and dullness. Without his imagination, which was unrestrained in his loneliness, he would have succumbed long ago.

Mrs. De Ropp would never have confessed to herself that she disliked Conradin, though thwarting[3] him “for his good'' was a duty which she did not find irksome[4]. Conradin hated her with a sincerity which he was perfectly able to mask. Such few pleasures as he could contrive for himself gained a relish[5] from the likelihood that they would be displeasing to his guardian.

In the dull, cheerless garden, overlooked by so many windows that were ready to open with a message not to do this or that, he found little attraction. In a forgotten corner, however, almost hidden behind a shrubbery, was a disused tool-shed, and within its walls Conradin found a haven[i], something that became a playroom and a cathedral. He had peopled it with familiar phantoms, evoked partly from fragments of history and partly from his own brain, but it also boasted two inmates of flesh and blood. In one corner lived a ragged-plumaged Houdan hen, on which the boy lavished an affection that had scarcely another outlet. Further back in the gloom stood a large hutch[ii], divided into two compartments, one of which was fronted with close iron bars. This was the abode of a large polecat-ferret[iii], which a friendly butcher-boy had once smuggled, cage and all, into its present quarters, in exchange for silver. Conradin was dreadfully afraid of the sharp-fanged beast, but it was his most treasured possession. Its very presence in the tool-shed was a secret and fearful joy, to be kept from the knowledge of the Woman, as he privately dubbed[iv] his cousin.

And one day, he spun the beast a wonderful name, and from that moment it grew into a god and a religion. The Woman indulged in religion once a week at a church near by, and took Conradin with her, but to him the church service was an alien rite. Every Thursday, in the dim and musty silence of the tool-shed, he worshipped before the wooden hutch where dwelt Sredni Vashtar, the great ferret. Red flowers in their season and scarlet berries in the winter-time were offered at his shrine, for he was a god who laid stress on the impatient side of things, as opposed to the Woman's religion, which went to the contrary direction. And on great festivals, powdered nutmeg was strewn in front of his hutch. These festivals were of irregular occurrence, and were chiefly appointed to celebrate some passing event. On one occasion, when Mrs. De Ropp suffered from acute toothache for three days, Conradin kept up the festival during the entire three days, and almost succeeded in persuading himself that Sredni Vashtar was personally responsible for the toothache.

After a while Conradin's absorption in the tool-shed began to attract the notice of his guardian.

Vocabulary help

[1] Was not important
[2] approved
[3] Making him frustrated
[4] annoying
[5] Hearty enjoyment
[i] A place of refuge or rest
[ii] A coop for small animals
[iii] A weasellike, mammal often trained to hunt rats or rabbits.
[iv] nicknamed

``It is not good for him to be pottering down there in all weathers,'' she promptly decided, and at breakfast one morning she announced that the Houdan hen had been sold and taken away overnight. With her short-sighted eyes she peered at Conradin, waiting for an outbreak of rage and sorrow. But Conradin said nothing: there was nothing to be said. Something perhaps in his white set face gave her a momentary qualm, for at tea that afternoon there was toast on the table, a delicacy which she usually banned on the ground that it was bad for him;
``I thought you liked toast,'' she exclaimed, with an injured air, observing that he did not touch it.``Sometimes,'' said Conradin.


In the shed that evening there was an innovation in the worship of the hutch-god. Conradin had been wont[i] to chant his praises, tonight he asked a boon[ii].

``Do one thing for me, Sredni Vashtar.''

The thing was not specified. As Sredni Vashtar was a god he must be supposed to know. And choking back a sob as he looked at that other empty comer, Conradin went back to the world he so hated.

And every night, in the welcome darkness of his bedroom, and every evening in the dusk of the tool-shed, Conradin's bitter litany[iii] went up: "Do one thing for me, Sredni Vashtar."

Mrs. De Ropp noticed that the visits to the shed did not cease, and one day she made a further journey of inspection.

"What are you keeping in that locked hutch?" she asked. "I believe it's guinea-pigs. I'll have them all cleared away."

Conradin shut his lips tight, but the Woman ransacked his bedroom till she found the carefully hidden key, and marched down to the shed to complete her discovery. It was a cold afternoon, and Conradin had been bidden to keep to the house. From the furthest window of the dining-room the door of the shed could just be seen, and there Conradin stationed himself. He saw the Woman enter, and then he imagined her opening the door of the sacred hutch and peering down with her short-sighted eyes into the thick straw bed where his god lay hidden. Perhaps she would prod at the straw in her clumsy impatience. And Conradin fervently breathed his prayer for the last time. But he knew as he prayed that he did not believe. He knew that the Woman would come out presently with that pursed smile he loathed so well, and that in an hour or two the gardener would carry away his wonderful god, a god no longer, but a simple brown ferret in a hutch. And he knew that the Woman would triumph always, and that he would grow ever more sickly under her pestering and domineering and superior wisdom, till one day nothing would matter much more with him, and the doctor would be proved right. And in the sting and misery of his defeat, he began to chant loudly and defiantly[iv] the hymn of his threatened idol:

Sredni Vashtar went forth,
His thoughts were red thoughts and his teeth were white.
His enemies called for peace, but he brought them death.
Sredni Vashtar the Beautiful.


Vocabulary help
[i] Accustomed; used to
[ii] A timely blessing
[iii] A prayer consisting of a series of requests
[iv] Boldly resisting


And then of a sudden he stopped his chanting and drew closer to the window-pane. The door of the shed still stood ajar as it had been left, and the minutes were slipping by. They were long minutes, but they slipped by nevertheless. He watched the starlings running and flying in little parties across the lawn; he counted them over and over again, with one eye always on that swinging door. A sour-faced maid came in to lay the table for tea, and still Conradin stood and waited and watched. Hope had crept by inches into his heart, and now a look of triumph began to blaze in his eyes that had only known the wistful patience of defeat. Under his breath, with a furtive exultation, he began once again the paean[v] of victory and devastation. And presently his eyes were rewarded: out through that doorway came a long, low, yellow-and-brown beast, with eyes a-blink at the waning daylight, and dark wet stains around the fur of jaws and throat. Conradin dropped on his knees. The great polecat-ferret made its way down to a small brook at the foot of the garden, drank for a moment, then crossed a plank bridge and was lost to sight in the bushes. Such was the passing of Sredni Vashtar.

"Tea is ready," said the sour-faced maid; "where is the mistress?" "She went down to the shed some time ago," said Conradin. And while the maid went to summon her mistress to tea, Conradin fished a toasting-fork and proceeded to toast himself a piece of bread. And during the toasting of it and the buttering of it with much butter and the slow enjoyment of eating it, Conradin listened to the noises and silences which fell in quick spasms beyond the dining-room door. The loud foolish screaming of the maid, the answering chorus from the kitchen region, the scuttering footsteps and hurried cries for outside help, and then, after a lull, the scared sobbings and the shuffling steps into the house.

"Whoever will break it to the poor child? I couldn't for the life of me!" exclaimed a shrill voice. And while they debated the matter among themselves, Conradin made himself another piece of toast.


Vocabulary help
[v]
A fervent expression of joy or praise:







Blk 1- Laila's commentary (Ndume the gorilla)

An extract from Laila’s commentary (Ndume)

(a) Comment on the style and language of the passage.


Mrs Saunders’ comments:
For every line reference , Laila talks about the importance of words, phrases or parts of a sentence ( ie what they mean/how they emphasize the writer’s experience of the gorillas). In other words, every sentence in her answer explains the effect of language in the passage. To do this, Laila uses expressions like 'accentuates', 'paints an image of ...', 'stresses that..', shows that...'

Read the extract of Laila's commentary carefully. The effect (importance) of language is in italics.


Lines 12-13 basically just describe the mood as the writer faces Ndume , “He sat, and I lay” emphasizes the closeness of them and how much they can fit together. The phrase “deep green tangle of luxuriant vegetation” draws a vivid image in the readers’ mind.
Lines 13-14 also accentuates how much the writer and Ndume understand each other that they “shifted our eyes frequently”. There is a silent moment there where they just observing the surrounding and feel the peaceful atmosphere between them.
In line 14 the word “glittered” paints an image of shining, a beautiful shining on the leaves by the rain and this can make the readers to feel the atmosphere. In lines 15 and 16 the short sentence stresses how the surrounding has changed by the changing of Ndume’s mood, “holding his chin in the palm of his hand”. He seemed to be in a “contemplative mood.”
In lines 16-17 the writer is adopting the rule and tries not to break it as it may arouse gorilla’s anger.
In line 18-19, “he moved toward me, smiling vaguely and shifting his gaze in a we;;-bred manner”; this stresses that Ndume is now gaining the trust for the writer and t hat he likes the man but still acting politely with his guest.
In line 20 the writer is describing Ndume’s appearance and she compares Ndume’s muscles to the size of melons. This enables the readers to imagine how Ndume looks like.
The dashes in line 21 shows that the writer is trying to tell the readers of hat she thinks of the “silver hair”.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Blk 1 Ndume




EAS November 2007, Paper 1
(Passage about a traveller's experience of a gorilla family in Rwanda)






Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Blk 1: Enough Already!

Enough Already! 10 artists who should really stop making records
To Blk 1: You will be discussing the language and style of this article in groups next week . Then each group will present their commentary to the class. Please click on the link below to read the article now. The text will be printed and given to you in class next week.


http://music.msn.com/music/photos/enough-already/?photoidx=1

Blk 1 - PERSEPOLIS

PERSEPOLIS

A memoir in comic strip images of growing up in Iran during the Islamic Revolution:
http://www.randomhouse.com/pantheon/graphicnovels/persepolis.html

Marjane Satrapi, Why I wrote Persepolis http://www.randomhouse.com/pantheon/graphicnovels/satrapi2.html

PERSEPOLIS (the film): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persepolis_(film)

View the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PXHeKuBzPY

A review of the film: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/persepolis/

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Blk 1 - The use of TALK in Informal language

TALK – Oxford English Language teaching

look who’s talking/you can talk/ you’re a fine one to talk (informal)
used to tell somebody that they should not criticize somebody else for something because they do the same things too: Person A: ‘George is so careless with money.’ Person B: ‘Look who’s talking!’

now you’re talking (informal)
used when you like what somebody has suggested very much

talk about ... (informal)
used to emphasize something : Talk about mean! She didn’t even buy me a card. (2nd Assessment: Sovereign of the Seas review: ‘Talk about the march of progress’)

talk dirty (informal)
to talk to somebody about sex in order to make them sexually excited

talk the hind leg off a donkey (informal)
to talk too much, especially about boring or unimportant things

talking of somebody/something (informal, especially British English)
used when you are going to say more about a subject that has already been mentioned: Talking of Sue, I met her new boyfriend last week.

talk shop (usually disapproving)
to talk about your work with the people you work with, especially when you are also with other people who are not connected with or interested in it: Whenever we meet up with Clive and Sue they always end up talking shop.

talk the talk (informal, sometimes disapproving)
to be able to talk in a confident way that makes people think you are good at what you do: You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? (= can you act in a way that matches your words?)

talk through your hat (old-fashioned, informal)
to say silly things while you are talking about a subject you do not understand

talk tough (on sth) (informal)
to tell people very strongly what you want

talk turkey (informal, especially NAmE)
to talk about sth seriously

talk your way out of sth / of doing sth
to make excuses and give reasons for not doing sth; to manage to get yourself out of a difficult situation: I managed to talk my way out of having to give a speech.



PHRASAL VERBS

talk around / round (something):
to talk about sth in a general way without dealing with the most important parts of it: We spent a whole hour talking around the problem before looking at ways of solving it.

talk at (somebody):
to speak to somebody without listening to what they say in reply: You can’t have a real conversation with him—he just talks at you all the time.

talk back (to somebody)
to answer sb rudely, especially somebody in authority

talk down (to somebody)
to speak to sb as if they were less important or intelligent than you

talk (somebody) into / out of (something)
to persuade sb to do/not to do sth: I didn’t want to move abroad but Bill talked me into it.


talk (somebody) round to ( something) (BrE)
to persuade sb to accept sth or agree to sth: We finally managed to talk them round to our way of thinking.

talk (somebody) through (something)
to explain to sb how sth works so that they can do it or understand it: Can you talk me through the various investment options?

talk (something) through
to discuss sth thoroughly until you are sure you understand it: It sounds like a good idea but we’ll need to talk it through.

talk (somebody or something) up
to describe sb/sth in a way that makes them sound better than they really are: They talked up the tourist attractions to encourage more visitors.


‘Talk’ used as a NOUN

WORDS WITHOUT ACTIONS (informal)
words that are spoken, but without the necessary facts or actions to support them: It’s just talk. He’d never carry out his threats. Don’t pay any attention to her—she’s all talk.

STORIES / RUMOURS
stories that suggest a particular thing might happen in the future: There was talk in Washington of sending in troops. She dismissed the stories of her resignation as newspaper talk. There’s talk that he’s a difficult actor to work with.

TOPIC / WAY OF SPEAKING
a topic of conversation or a way of speaking:
business talk ;
She said it was just girl talk that a man wouldn’t understand.
The book teaches you how to understand Spanish street talk (= slang).
It was tough talk, coming from a man who had begun the year in a hospital bed.
(see also 'small talk, sweet talk, trash talk)

the talk of something : the person or thing that everyone is talking about in a particular place: Overnight, she became the talk of the town (= very famous).

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Blk 1: Good essays from June Holiday Assignment

SHARIFAH LIYANA NADZIRA BT MALAI HJ HASHIM ( B6 )

Write 2 contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each) describing a sunrise and a sunset over the same place on the same day. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in mood and atmosphere. (June 2007)

Sunset
As I sat alone, I saw loving couples along the beach, watching the sunset, holding hands, cuddling, sharing their great happiness of being together and the intimacy of love. I felt alone. I calmed myself, gazing at the beautiful sunset.

The sun was a great, big, romantic and inspirational fire in the sky. The salt of the water could be tasted on the tip of my tongue. The caress of the breeze was a warm comfort, giving me joy and relaxation. It was like a sweet embrace, stilling my heart, and causing my breath to hold for the slightest of moments. The wonderment of the beauty of it collected all my bad and unpleasant feelings in a bag of mixed emotions, leaving me in elation.

It was silent for a while; the birds could be heard flapping their wings across the sea which made me feel like I was as free as they were; the soothing sound of the waves made me feel even better. Sunset proved to me the earth was going round to make the sun slowly disappear from this side of my view. It was like bright red fire flies dancing across the sky and changing colour from gold to orange to red, like dancers changing their costumes in a performance. The rays seemed friendly and they reminded me of an old friend saying goodbye and even though he was leaving, I knew he would be back again.

The sky was ablaze with colour: fiery orange, searing reds, hot as the yellow sun and yet the sky had begun to cool with the indigo of the night. The feeling was greatly serene. I looked back at my surroundings, each and every couple felt the same way I did - their faces showed it all. Then I thought for a moment of how wonderful it would be to watch the sunset with the one you care about right beside you.


Sunrise
We sit on a beach with a blanket wrapped around us, sharing a cup of hot coffee and waiting for the sun to rise. The sound of silence comes to mind, the still air is replaced by the morning breeze, cool and refreshing. It is the best time of day. An ideal time to smell the fresh air of dawn.

We wait for the sun to rise, spirited and energetic for a fresh start of a new day, to think of the day’s possibilities and promises rather than of its regrets. Slowly the bright orange ball appears like the colour of orange, mango and peach. The sky joins with the water and the light and begin to paint colours over the surface of the water: red of blood and orange of lust. It is a hope-filled event as my excitement grows slowly to watch the beautiful light shine out of its darkness. A splendid view with excellent light, colour and mood. The sun comes up, wrapping the day in beauty. The rays of sunrise glitter like diamonds on a smooth sheet of water over which birds fly peacefully.

We sit on the blanket now as the air is warmer. We watch the colour of the ocean change from dark blue green to a colour equally blue. We look at each other, we see the calmness and joy that is within us. Just as the sun brings light, a new beginning and a new creation to a new day, our relationship begins anew. This great opportunity has made me think of how wonderful nature is and it has taught me to start a new day filled with new ideas. (grade: C+)


Mrs Saunders’ comments:

1. Her essays are vibrant and rich in details:
· She describes how her senses respond to the environment - the salt of the water (taste); the caress of the breeze (touch), the soothing sound of the waves (hearing), like bright red fire flies dancing across the sky and changing colour from gold to orange to red (sight and movement).
· Her description of colour is dramatic (‘fiery orange, searing reds’) and it is given an emotional force (‘red of blood and orange of lust’)
· She has also used similes (which you can readily identify), metaphors(in italics) and alliteration ('soothing sounds')
· Abundant adjectives: serene, cool, refreshing, energetic, smooth, splendid, excellent, new, great, wonderful etc

2. More important, her writing shows good STRATEGY - the descriptive language has not caused her to detract from the main aim of the assignment which is to create CONTRAST in mood in the 2 essays.
This contrast is suggested in the sentences I put in italics. At sunset, there is a quiet loneliness in the narrator, while at sunrise, there is an atmosphere of hope - she is optimistic about her new relationship with her companion.

3. Note the difference in tense between the 2 essays. Consider the difference in effect.





ARAFAT BIN MAHABUB

1. Write 2 contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each), one which describes a particular place at the end of a war or natural disaster and one which describes the way it looks after being rebuilt. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in mood and atmosphere. (Nov 2007)

After the war
The war has ended, so has the lives of many others. It is an evil thing, War. It is something that everyone wants to avoid but when it does happen, there is no imaginable way of escaping it. One can imagine how a battlefield, a friendly neighborhood for many families, would look like after a war: HELL. Debris and fragments from the houses that once housed an innocent toddler can be seen scattered everywhere. The dull and dark atmosphere can give us an idea of how spiritless the place is. Clouds of smoke and dust fill the pungent air and the stagnant water itself expresses the lifeless condition of the place. As you look over the hill, you can see the grey and gloomy clouds, slowly moving towards the desolate place. You can tell the place is in solitary.

The people stay helpless, depressed and heavy-hearted. The tears in their eyes speak a thousand words. The shattered hearts cry for help, feeling hopelessness and despair. Desperate to stand on their feet, hoping to move on with their life but they cannot forget the torments and excruciating pain they experienced. Dead bodies still lay on the ruined streets. Everything you see around you is destroyed. Nothing left in one piece. The survivors remain in a moody silence. By looking at their teary eyes, you can see how miserable they are, how sorrowful they feel, how stubborn they can become, how fed up they are.

The parliament buildings can be seen in piles of debris and you cannot differentiate between a national landmark and a bare and deserted land. Some of the walls of the building are covered in blood, a disturbing image indeed. Many bullet shells cover the surface of the streets of the town and to start collecting all these shells and to destroy them would be a start in rebuilding the once beautiful town.


After the rebuilt
After a war, basically the whole town is destroyed and also the lives of many others. It is very hard to start a new life and to forget the past. But the best way to move on with a new life is by rebuilding the town. Being united, working hard to make the place what it used to be before: a beautiful place.
Many years after the dreadful war the town was resurrected and new buildings were erected. The atmosphere has changed since the war, for the better. The sky is clear with the sun shining brightfully on the new built town. New trees have grown which provides shelter for the birds, chirping at daily sunrise, giving an impression that the birds are living in peace and are not disturbed. Many new buildings such as schools, hospital, etc, are built and also quite a few tourist sites to attract people in order to develop the town further. The peaceful environment in the town is created by various flowers producing a scent which provides the town with a fresh smell and a promising future.
The warm breeze from the west and the raining season keeps the town lively and gives hope for the town farmers. Many new retail shops are established to create jobs for those who are unemployed thus everyone in the town is united and the population is grateful and cheerful. New mosques and churches are built to keep the town blessed. Furthermore, monuments are also constructed in order to pay respect to the residents and the people who died during the war. Eventhough the town has been revived, it has not fully recovered from the damage made during the war. The people still think about the past and regret those moments. But a new town has been built, a better town where people can easily move on and try to forget the torturous past. (grade: C+)


Mrs Saunders’ comments

· He uses a plain conversational style. There is a sense of an omniscient narrator speaking to the reader directly (note the use of the second person pronoun). The tone is quiet and restrained.

Although the description of each scene is quite general, it is effective in showing contrast in atmosphere between the two scenes.

· The simple sentence structure works well in describing a difficult topic (war and reconstruction) clearly.
· Short sentences state a point with impact. (It is an evil thing, War. Nothing left in one piece )

· There is an emotional dimension in the writing. The narrator’s awareness of the peoples’ physical and mental suffering gives the essays more depth - ‘The people stay helpless, depressed and heavy-hearted. The tears in their eyes speak a thousand words; Desperate to stand on their feet; ..they cannot forget the torments…; moody silence’.

· Note how the opening sentence in the first work is similar that of the second:
Ist work: The war has ended, so has the lives of many others.
2nd work: After a war, basically the whole town is destroyed and also the lives of many others.
This similarity in sentence structure unifies the two pieces of writing.


· Note the abundant use of adjectives which is a basic must in descriptive writing.

· The essay ends on a realistic but hopeful note. ‘ The people still think about the past and regret those moments. But a new town has been built, a better town where people can easily move on and try to forget the torturous past.’
This is a mark of good writing because i)a simplistic approach (reconstruction = happy ending ) and ii) sentimentality (excessive emotion) have been avoided.



NORSAIDI BIN SERAIL (B7)

Write two contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each) describing a sunrise and a sunset over the same place on the same day. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in mood and atmosphere.

Sunrise
It is morning again without anybody realizing it, because they are fast asleep. The pink sky has slowly changed colour to a bright yellow, which is then mixed with a bit of orange and red. Though this transformation is significant, no one bothers to examine it; they barely even look up to the sky and praise the works of the Almighty. However, one of the children stops dead in his tracks to gaze at the open sky to see a group of birds flying which have added to the beauty of the panoramic view. The sunrise is obviously signalling everybody to wake up to do their respective errands. But, at the same time, this phenomenon doesn’t get the approval of the bed-lover.

Here it is...Kampong Ayer, which stands out most in the core of the town.
The sunrise gives new hope not only to loners but to smugglers. It casts light on the flickering waves and shadows on the long, old jittery jetties. Sunrise means work to the business men and business women though they earn only little. Children jump happily into their school uniforms and this means another gruelling job for teachers. It also means another profitable day for water taxi drivers. It is as if the Sun has blessed people with life and luck, accompanying every person in his daily life with prosperity and promising journeys, wherever they are heading. The Sun has raised itself slightly adding heat to the river. A place that at one time felt quite silent, has become busy and full of distinct activities, which is why it is the centre of attraction of the town.

Sunset
On the other hand, when the Sun begins its journey of dipping below the horizon, people would be very busy hiring the water taxi drivers to go across the river. The Sun would be terrified if anyone dared to swim across the wide river just to get home. The tide has slowly become calm and safe to those people who are afraid of going on a water taxi. Slowly, business men and business women along the Kianggeh River begin their packing. Darkness would engulf the town, only to be disturbed by the lights and bulbs perk up the street and everyone’s houses. Birds are flying to their home after a day of hunting. They are no longer chirping, instead they are whistling as if singing to the sinking giant ball of flames.

Babies sleep comfortably in their mothers’ arms. Children from school yawn, their sleepy faces distinguishable by their heavy eyelids. Despite their tiredness, the water taxi drivers continue their services transporting villagers back and forth. It is nearly silent, only the sounds of waves hitting the walls are heard. Shops are beginning to close down one by one, adding to the silent atmosphere and a sense of gloom hangs in the air. The Sun has deliberately dipped into the horizon to give way to smugglers and pick pockets to begin their sinful activities especially in the stinking and dirty alleyways.

Restaurants and cafes open because as night approaches they will be the centre of attraction. Despite this, ‘azan’ from the mosque penetrate the dull air in the town, signalling people to watch their watches and reminding them to perform the Maghrib Prayer for Muslims. The once brave and arrogant smugglers in the alleyways have suddenly become weak and they hesitate, wondering whether to continue with their activities or not. So the day has melted into the night, with clouds drifting slowly, as if they are stage curtains and the people below are actors and actresses...
(Grade: C+)


Mrs Saunders’ comments
The impact of sunrise and sunset on life in of Kampong Ayer is described in a sensitive and imaginative way - the sun is written with a capital ‘S’ and described if it has intention and feeling (‘the Sun has blessed people with life and luck, accompanying every person in his daily life with prosperity...’;’ the Sun begins its journey...’; ‘The Sun would be terrified...’).

There is gentle humour in these lines:
'The sunrise is obviously signalling everybody to wake up to do their respective errands. But, at the same time, this phenomenon doesn’t get the approval of the bed-lover.'

The ironic humour derives from the contrast between the sun’s ‘eagerness’ to get everyone up to work, and the sleepers’ disinclination to respond.

Although the tone is mostly gentle, it is not uncritical of the villagers who fail to appreciate the wonder of sunrise as a gift from God. The word ‘sinful’ and the association of the smugglers’ activities with ‘the stinking and dirty alleyways’ show that the narrator strongly disapproves of this aspect of life in Kg Ayer.
The azan’s moral influence on life in Kg Ayer is implied in the words ‘penetrate’ and ‘signalling’ and also in the smugglers sudden loss of courage upon hearing it. Hence the essays have a spiritual angle, which give more depth and interest.
Contrast in mood
At sunrise, the serene atmosphere evoked in the first paragraph is slightly undercut at the start of the second paragraph when the writer refers to smugglers and ‘shadows on the long, old jittery jetties’. There is also an atmosphere of promise and increasing vitality as the people get more involved in their daily chores as the day progresses (even the smugglers are optimistic because of ‘the Sun accompanying every person in his daily life with prosperity and promising journeys’).

At sunset, everything slows down and the atmosphere of diminishing energy engulfs Kampong Ayer as villagers prepare to rest from the day’s work. Elsewhere in the busy restaurants and cafes, the ‘azan’ reminds the people of their spiritual obligations, implying that commercial activities are temporarily subdued.
The contrast in mood is also implied by the sudden lack of confidence that came upon the smugglers (in contrast to their optimism at sunrise)

The essay ends on a very satisfying note with the simile which compares the dark clouds covering the evening sky to the closing of stage curtains.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Blk 1 Good student essays - June Holiday Assignment

Angelyn Choo Tze Hui. (B5)

Write 2 contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each) describing a sunrise and a sunset over the same place on the same day. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in mood and atmosphere. (June 2007)


That place had something magical, I swear. Even though I had to wake up an hour before sunrise so I could reach my destination on time (using the quickest form of transportation I owned: my bicycle), I was really glad I did. When I finally made it to the abandoned field just a few minutes from my house, the sky was beginning to get light, and the chill of early morning was fading away, as if to hide from the glorious rays of light emerging from dark clouds that were bursting forth unto this small piece of paradise. All darkness departed as the sun rose higher into the sky; I could feel the heat on my skin. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead, arms, back and legs; I began to feel restless. All the silence and calm that protected the night before was being slowly consumed by birds chirping and not long after that, engulfed by honks, screeching of tires, the inevitable humming of car engines and the clanking (and stench) of the garbage truck that just passed by.

Simultaneously, my senses became overwhelmed by all that was going on: the beautiful scenery, the burning sensation on my skin, the intense noises and violent smell that mixed with the morning’s air and caused an electricity of excitement to run through the atmosphere. And suddenly, everything felt vibrant. I could literally feel the new day beginning, a fresh start; all sins from the night before were forgiven, all tears were wiped away. I looked around and saw that the grass held no secrets, the trees kept no hidden thoughts and the sky seized no clandestine hope; everything was in the open. (I wanted to be open as well. Transparent, with nothing holding me back.) Every leaf, every tree and every blade of grass, down to the smallest speck of dust, seemed to embrace the new light, perhaps even as a sort of salutation to the wonder that is the sunrise.


After a few hours, I was back in the field, waiting for the sun to perform her closing act. And without fail, she delivered. The sun’s slow gentle descent into the horizon brought about a familiar chill that surrounded me. I looked around and realized that everything had come to a halt. The clouds gathered in one panoramic view, as if they were wishing the sun a pleasant farewell for the day. All the noises of the harried day seemed to have diminished and a soothing silence reigned over the place. As the sun sank beneath the horizon, the sky mingled hot colors with colds ones; bright orange, fading into dark blue. The soft pinks and pale creamy yellows melted away as the soft darkness brushed across the sky.

A chill ran through my spine as I witnessed this. The sun deserved a standing ovation. The majestic splendor of that moment overtook me and I could not help but let the tears roll down my cheeks. But I was not worried that anyone would see me cry. As the sky turned dark, it felt like a reassurance that all secrets shared within that moment would be locked away safely. The grass and trees were no more in clear view, they were given a silent permission to do as they liked. And so was I. It was the ending of the day for some, yet only the beginning for others. I felt the evening’s cold fingertips brush against my face and decided that it was time to head home. (grade:B)


Mrs Saunders’ comments

Both the sunrise and sunset evoke powerful feelings and a heightened awareness in the narrator. The freshness of the morning fills her with exhilaration and a sense of liberty.

Figurative language to describe the external world of nature (‘the grass held no secrets, the trees kept no hidden thoughts and the sky seized no clandestine hope’) gives us an idea of the internal world of her emotions and thoughts. She felt freedom and joy in sharing all her innermost secrets.

The mood of openness that she experiences at sunrise is
finely contrasted
with the mood of withdrawal at sunset. The narrator now feels the need to keep her thoughts and feelings private as conveyed in the imagery of ‘locked safely away’. The darkening sky is also an apt metaphor for her state of mind; in the same way the sky at dawn (‘the sky was beginning to get light’) set the atmosphere for her elation that morning.



Rahimah Salaesah Ibrahim (B20)
Write 2 contrasting descriptive pieces (between 300-450 words each) about 2 different times of the day and their effect on a particular place. In describing each time you should create clear contrasts in mood and atmosphere.

The Day
I watched the sun rise high in the sky, smiling down at us; I sat down on the grass, watching people passing by. Nearby flora was blooming, showing their bright attractive colors: purple royal, cerulean, aqua, olive green, sunburst yellow, auburn and fuchsia as if it was an eternal rainbow. The children were at the playground. Most of them were playing hide and seek, others were in the sandbox with their own tools and two girls were seen on the swing. The echoes of their laughter could be heard resonating in the park. Parents were on the side watching the children with blissful smiles on their faces. Suddenly a boy stumbled and started to cry. I stood up and took a step forward but a girl stopped in front of the crying boy and helped him up. They resumed playing after the boy had calmed down and I sat back, assured that everything was fine. At the center of the park, there was the great fountain, symbolizing unity and peace. Its white marble texture and goblet-like structure were enhanced by the gentle flowing of the crystal clear water; it gleamed softly as the golden rays rested on it. There were tourists nearby, each one of them was different yet the important thing was they were having a good time. Birds were seen flying and singing, the squirrels were jumping from tree to tree, bees were buzzing and butterflies flew around the flowers. On the bench, facing the fountain, there was an old woman feeding the pigeons and an old man reading the morning paper right beside her. The gentle wind passed by once in a while, carrying the soft sound of comfort. A small sigh escaped my lips. The day was full of life.

The Night
Sitting down on the bench, facing the fountain, I stare at the dark night. Everything is very different at night. The bright colorful flowers earlier that day are now lifeless and dull as if they have withered and died. The playground is completely empty like an old ghost town, everyone has already gone home and there is not a soul around. The swing squeaks as if there is a child swinging on it yet it is only the wind gently pushing it. The moon is the only source of light that brightens the dark area yet to me it is still dim. The big oak tree stands tall creating an immense shadow, hiding whatever creature or someone lurking beneath it. The fountain emits a faded blue glow, making the surroundings gloomier than ever and the sound of water flowing can be heard more clearly than in the day. Suddenly out of nowhere, a big white owl swoops down and snatches a rat that is feeding nearby the garbage. I follow the owl with my eyes and it lands on the big oak tree branch and swallows its prey whole. I gulped as it stares at me with its big yellow eyes then it flies away leaving me staring at a feather that has fallen and landed on the ground. The sounds of crickets in the night are the only sounds heard other than the sound of the flowing water. The bushes behind me suddenly rattle; it startles me, I turn around and stare at the bush and suddenly a black cat jumps out and sprints away. I blink. I stand up and start to walk; it is time to head back home. The cold wind carries dead leaves and the air feels so dry and so suffocating as it passes by. It is cold and chilly and everything in the night seems mysteriously dead. (grade: C+)



Mrs Saunders’Comments:

Rahimah’s essays show that a simple sentence structure (‘Birds were seen flying and singing, the squirrels were jumping from tree to tree, bees were buzzing and butterflies flew around the flowers’;. ‘Sitting down on the bench, facing the fountain, I stare at the dark night.’ ‘Everything is very different at night.’ ‘The bushes behind me suddenly rattle’) can describe a scene vividly and create atmosphere effectively.

‘The Day’ is written in the past tense, while ‘The Night’ in the present tense. Is there a difference in effect as a result of this? In your view, which tense works better? Why?

The details in ‘The Day’ are concrete (real; can be seen, heard and felt by our 5 senses) but she uses imagery once. Can you spot it?

A striking contrast in atmosphere in the playground has been created in a simple and direct way, in the closing sentence of each piece (‘The day was full of life. ‘/ ‘It is cold and chilly and everything in the night seems mysteriously dead.’)

Friday, June 6, 2008

Blk 1 AND Block 5: June Hols Homework

Paper 2, Section A: Narrative/Descriptive/Imaginative Writing

Choose ONE question. Your essay must be between 600-900 words.

1. Write 2 contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each), one which describes a particular place at the end of a war or natural disaster and one which describes the way it looks after being rebuilt. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in mood and atmosphere. (Nov 2007)

2. Write 2 contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each) describing a sunrise and a sunset over the same place on the same day. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in mood and atmosphere. (June 2007)

3. Write 2 contrasting pieces (between 300-450 words each) describing the same character when he/she is young and then old. In your writing you should try to bring out differences in the character’s appearance and outlook on life. (June 2006)

4. Write 2 contrasting descriptive pieces (between 300-450 words each) about 2 different times of the day and their effect on a particular place. In describing each time you should create clear contrasts in mood and atmosphere. (2004)


Please type your assignment if possible (using double spacing)
Deadline: Monday 30 June 2008

Blk 1: Model student assignments : DIRECTED WRITING - Based on extract from “The Road to Wigan Pier”

Assignment Question
Basing your answer closely on the style and language of the extract from “The Road to Wigan Pier’ write part of an account expressing your strong dislike of a place, person or thing. (120-150 words)

You may use as many of the following features as possible:
1. The second person pronoun
2. Comparison
3. Diction: superlatives, negative suffix (-less), strong adjectives
4. Irony
5. Parenthesis to share a thought informally with your reader
6. Sentence without a finite verb, only participles (lines 43-48) to highlight the strong presence of an unattractive thing.


Suriati Anak Anyut
An army of trucks, assembling a huge, gloomy building - a hotel to be. Similar to an army of ants building its nest. Except that this construction of a building is far more horrid than that of the timid ants’ nest.
If you pass the construction site, you will realize air is not the only thing that fills your lungs…but also dust. Dust from the loading and unloading of graves of gravel. The dryness of the atmosphere itself even has the potential to suffocate everyone. Grey piles of tiles. Grey pails of paint. Grey masses of timber wood. Grey sacks of harsh cement. They reflect how solid the product will soon be. And oh, the noise! It’s as if the sound of machine guns is being shot right through your eardrums! (Not to mention the killing potential is the same!). (140 words) [Grade: C+]

Tutor's Comments:

Suriati has done a good job of applying all the features of style.
• Note the opening sentence has no finite verb, just the present participle ‘assembling’.
• Suriati has used comparison not once but twice. Can you spot the second one?

• The repetition of ‘grey’ in four short non-sentences and the alliterative "grey piles...grey pails" are very effective in reinforcing the dull and lifeless character of the building to be. They also convey the quiet disgust of the speaker as she surveys her immediate environment.
• Note the use of ‘even’ to stress the harmful effect of the dusty atmosphere.
• ‘And oh, the noise!’ is an acceptable adaption of that single short sentence in the original extract since she is not referring to smell.

• Note the use of parenthesis.

Diction: Strong adjectives - horrid, harsh; strong verbs - suffocate, shot right through


Now see how far each of the following answers below has used the 6 features of style in the list. Note also the strengths and individual style (the particular way the writer expresses his/her point of view) that make each work unique.



Amirul Hamizan
Antarctica, I would have to say, is the worst place you can ever live in. The place itself is an icy deathtrap; there is no way you can escape, you just have to learn to survive in the cold and tormenting environment. I imagine there are no animals or any living things except for the strange fishes under the ice and some polar bears ready to put you in their menu. All around, white icy flakes and sometimes stones of ice falling from the sky and the floor, so slippery and evil, waiting for someone to slip on it. It is as if Antarctica itself is an evil, cruel and cold serial killer just waiting for the right moment. No one but a bunch of crazy researchers would dare to live in its suicidal conditions. Well, simply put, you would agree with me when I say Antarctica is a much colder version of hell itself. (155 words) [Grade: B]


Jessica Tieng
Personally, I strongly despise judgmental people who see nothing wrong with themselves, yet see everything wrong with everyone else.
These judgmental, prejudiced and biased individuals make false assumptions and far-reaching pronouncements based on limited information. These brainless people decree what is right and wrong.
So basically if you look out for your own negative traits, you are less likely to sit in judgment over your fellow human beings, which will be all the better for you and them.

Yet judgmental people are far less worse than hypocrites who always seem to preach a certain belief or way of life but in fact they do hold these same virtues themselves

Just remember what William Shakespeare said, " Forbear to grudge, for we are sinners and all." (126 words) [Grade: B]


Haswan Hj Maidin
Our school canteen seems to be the dirtiest place in PTEB. The floor is decorated with sweet wrappers, tin cans, plastic containers and left-over food which apparently dominate the whole area so that you have to watch your feet! This litter (which can be seen almost anytime of the day) is so appalling that you could easily lose your appetite. But this is nothing compared to the horrid atmosphere of the toilets, from the distasteful smell to the dreadful sight of the unflushed toilets. The cubicles give a sinister feeling: a door with a broken lock, the dysfunctional toilet flush, the lifeless piece of pipe. Even the lights seem to be dim and scary as the hum of the toilet fan dominates the room. (124 words) (Grade: C+)


Here are 2 written pieces that are not based too closely on 6 listed features of language in the extract from ‘The Road to Wigan Pier’ but are nevertheless very effective in expressing disgust . Muizzah’s account is highly descriptive and vivid with an ironic observation in the closing sentence. Hamada does not adopt the cold and detached ironic tone found in the original passage. Instead she is amused at and affectionate towards her object of disgust, therefore the irony in her writing has a warm humorous quality.


Muizzah binti Kamal
As I entered the indoor fish market, the inevitable smell of fish predictably captivated my senses, and I cringed visibly. The air was thick with the nostalgic, salty scent of the seaside and the horribly offensive odor of dead fish. Walking along the stalls, I felt the growing dampness on my jeans. My gaze lingered on the mini drains which rivaled the large ones in the slums in lack of attention to hygiene. The drain was almost overflowing with substances which were unrecognizable since they did not show any signs of movement. The remnants of crabs and fish were mingling beautifully with the highly viscous, ash-coloured filth. The idea of running for the exit and abandoning Mother in her quest for a salmon was greatly tempting. The most disturbing thing was that the stall-keepers seemed oblivious to these facts.
(141 words) [Grade: B]


Hamadatun Najwa bt Yusuf Wahbi
After one year, I discover that my charming boyfriend has some amazingly disgusting habits. However, I still do love the guy despite my interesting encounter with him last week. Not even my guy friends show me their bad habits, and I've known them for a longer period. You would not imagine how revolting my lunch was that day. A strand of lamb meat stuck in between the teeth (I had already warned him that we were bound to get some meat stuck if we ordered lamb chop) in a mouth widely open with fingers meddling inside it struggling to remove the irritating piece of food remains. His face expressed the great strength he was using to take it out and showed much satisfaction after his successful attempt. What's worse came right after that. He took a glance at the pathetic strand, stayed motionless for two seconds before shrugging his shoulders, and then popped it right back into his mouth! It was absolutely appalling! (163 words) [Grade: B]